Thursday, July 23, 2009

writings of the self

i have today tryed a different approach with my sisters because i have witnessed something that i hadnt considered quite before. well i had never stood up to this which was what they in the moment are currently accepting and allowing. what i saw was that my sister got angry and that she was hiding this behind her show of contentment and to continue ignoring whats actually happening through continuing life as their presentations of belief and i was not fooled by this as it was happening and i remained here and all of this happened while i began to sing to them about what was going on.
i remained here and sang speaking myself out even though my sisters stated to play but it was a play of self abuse, power and control and i saw it all as it was happening and how they disregared what i had to say because it was their world in where they are seperate from everything else. the playing died down eventually and still i remained here and this really upset my sister because even though she wouldnt show it she knows whats shes accepting and allowing and i let her know directly what was going on. she began to cry but it wasnt real as then she began to laugh but i remained here and continued talking directly about what i was seeing and this is where i began getting to the crynchy stuff as the anger started emerging and this is what i wanted my sister to embrace because she was running from herself as i was telling her through masks of desception and i let her know that if i can see what is ehre then who is she descieving?
eventually it got to the point where the anger was all that remained and i expressed this anger as i showed her how this anger is through me and i asked her talk about it what is it that you are holding that you are filled with all this anger? she began to cry and looked at my other sister and said that "mother" is always looking at her instead and that she is being blamed for setting an example and whatnot. i had not much to say about this but my sister came to terms with her anger and from there i continued to talk to her about considering herself as life as stopping what shes accepting and allowing and i see that my sister only imagines what it means to stop and so in the moment when "mother" came in she began to blam her sister and continue which waas her not considering actually stopping and i corrected her and told her that she is not actually stopping and so my sister continues in these time loops and i also talked to my other sister afterwards as well.
i explained to my other sister that she is not actually standing up for herself as all as one as life because she is not looking for solutions stop stop continuing life as self abuse and that i expressed myself also through this through and as my words as my body as the moment and i saw exactly how she does not consider anything but her own self desires and i let her know. after all this i am here as the breathe realizing still much that i am accepting and allowing and that i stop each and every time that i am ehre as life i stop, no excuses.

1 comment:

  1. I notice that you are very aware of your environment. You see in people what they accept and allow and eventually bring them to a point where they will face themselves. What I do see, is that your entire focus is on others. Trying them to direct and bring them to a point of realisation. Remember that everyone is in their own process. You can not persuade beings to walk the same road, you can not persuade beings to see what you see. This does not mean you cannot talk with them about their process, but they have to realize for themselves. No saviors. As one can only save themselves. See in your sis what you actually allow within yourself, see in the people who you meet what you actually allow within yourself. To see allowances of other people is easy, to see your own allowances not so easy. They can be very subtile. I realized that I could only see these systems within others, because they were existend in me. Otherwise how would I know it were systems?