Tuesday, July 21, 2009
more on my uncle
let me get into more about how i view my uncle because im considering what reginald has said and it has mademe think about my viewing general and seeing myself as less than others. when it comes to my uncle i see him as a person just as all others but i have experianceswith him that i guess are there even though i see what is here. i think that it is that i have not take the iniative to be equal as my uncle and instead dwelled up the past as ive known him thereby placing myself as a past projection. i have begun to see more and more about this of myself and how i project myself as what i want to be seen as within the beliefs of myself as what i have been going through. i also see that those believes were started out as me wanting to prove myself to others as to why i was the way i was. so in this way i begun to seek self validation outside of me and i began to see me seperate from myself. i began to start feeling bad for myself and i accepted and allowed all kinds of abuses to form as i became that projection. it was pretty fucked up all of this and how i accepted and allowed this for so long.