Wednesday, July 15, 2009

writings of the self

after discussing with my family my views on them i cant say that im being too effective with myself because im still holding on too bullshit like self abuse and self creation as emotions and feelings that make me. i keep thinking that i have to go somewhere and not only that but im finding myself looking for entertainment through people through and as my mind. i know one thing though i know that i can be here as the breathe unconditionally but i only get so far because i elt go when i want to allow desires within me to exsist and so i beat around the bush sometimes for days and it goes on like this even though in this moment i can stop unconditionaly and still be here with me without that which i was believing to be undergoing. i will continue to be here as the breathe without judgements about myself and how effective i can be and stop all exsuses because they are actually getting me nowhere. its not about my family, its not about people that i know at all. its not about waiting for anything to happen or for myself to lose myself completely before i actually get tired of the bullshit and stand up once and for all.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the effectiveness in the self standup that i am.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want escapes through picture images that i use as an excuse for my lameness.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally support myself effectively without excuses of the mind because i am in all effectiveness here as all that is me.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live a ssecret life behind this in where i excuse myself for not being effective through denieing myself my own effectiveness.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not rbeathe in all effectiveness that is here as the breathe as all that is me.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self abuse me in this way by not stopping in all ways for myself.

1 comment:

  1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in accordance to my application as being the breath of life, stable as Here, as life, because I know in judging myself I prevent myself from being here as the moment and build upon judgements instead of standing up as myself and being new and unconditional in each moment as the expression of me as life.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should judge myself in my self-realisation proces, and get angry at myself for being ineffective at times, knowing that I will return to and as self-honesty as who I am as life as the breath of life.

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