Friday, September 4, 2009

writings of the self

myself as life as who i am in what i participate in in the moment. firstly there is myself as life, that which i honor as myself while observing currently who i am as what i accept and allow to not conform to any abuse as seen as self abuse which many undergo. so as for myself what is that takes place as myself is mainly realizing what it is to let go in correvtive application what one currently accepts and allows that is not seen because of reasons of past believes that one undergoes as who they are within that which one has acepted and allowed. for me it has been that i have percieved myself as been undergoing through quite a series of events which if you look at the outflow as the fruits of who i am manifest as this world as myself one can see who one currently is within their participation within this. as i saw what it was that i was creating and how it was that i made myself to be hopeless and unable to actually stop and stand within what i knew was as standing up from within what you participate it was only but an idea-a disguise. what i realize from this is that i and only i stand alone as what it is to stand up to self as self. funny how created acceptances and allowances while deny you yourself as the perception of being a personality as others as a presentation as a group acceptance and allowance and how it can take many shapes and forms but what is real and what is underneathe is self and self alone. currently that is what i am observing by myself as this world to stop all believes, perceptions as myself as who i have become until stand here all as one as breath. it has been a process that i am realizing for myself as stopping and i realize exactly how stopping is but an actual effort as willing self to remain to stand up from within the constrcts that have been made no matter what, NO CONFORMENT-STOP ALL AS ONE AND EQUAL UNTIL IT IS DONE.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

writings of the self

i had work yesterday with an individual who i dont ususally work with. i descided that since i had suggested forgiveness to him once before and i felt comfortable as to talk to him about how i have been applying myself and what was going on in terms of that. i worked with him i shared about myself and what not. i was interested that he was taking courses on psycology and so i began to talk about his courses and what exactly it was that he was into. he explained bits and pieces of the mind and what he had learned while taking these courses and i was obviously interested in how he practically applyed his observations on what he had learned. there was not too much from his side except that he said that he observes that peoples tend to want to live out good experiances but stay away from the bad experiances. he went into how the mind consists of a conscious, subconscious and unconscious realm so to speak. within this i spoke to him about how i saw this in my application of life as the mind being a platform in which thoughts take place and the works. it was cool though to talk to him about what i had been accepting and allowing and how i am applying myself as breathe and so i spoke myself out to him in regards to this and how we must all stand up from dishonestys as that this is not taking us anywhere but that we are remaining stuck in time as the mind as i explained to him as expression of myself. i let him know about the principle of oness and equality through and as myself as i am and showed him myself. interesting as i allowed us to take a moment to stop and breathe. as we breathed i said to him to walk life as breathe and that the mind is uneasyandscary/unnecassary. i showed him practical ways to apply himself to walk through life as himself to build self trust and to realize when he is reacting within him, and we talked about this as i walked with him. he talked about growing up and how he wwas introduced in the christian community and how he was shun from their "community". he shared himself to me and it was cool to listen to what he had to say about his obserations with people as he explained with such a limited exsistance as what they believe in and how hypocritical he observed them to be. i was intersted in a conversation in where i notticed that church for him and a friend that had visited while we were at work talked about who they were while at church with church being church. they experianced themselves as the definition of their likes and dislikes of the church and what they expected from the church as it was defined. it was later on that i asked him how it was that in his life he saw what a "father" of the church was. he explained how the father of the church was a noble experianced man willing to sacrifise himself for the expense of giving away knowledge. how this man was to him and then he began to talk about how he would impose his believes of god unto other in seperation of himself and i looked at him and laughes because that had been what we were just talking about and he said that yes he realized what was happening. i let him know that it was cool that he was sharing and that i appreciated what he had to say. i was specific about what seperation implys and how the network of the mind does not allow one to see as self honesty because of the starting point of self dishonesty that takes place and is happening. so i can see that andrew was considering and placing words inside and as himself while i was sharing, cool. i said to andrew that we can assist each other in many ways in our observations while we share and stand up from within the mind to expose deception and whatnot. without imposing myself to andrew as i knew that andrew had question as andrew should not feel the need to conform to me and i also let him know to not take my word for anything that i say and to prove to himself in self direction what is accepted and allowed in all ways as the finite circle as the mind. "feel free to ask questions" was something that i told him and he did as he asked if this was a state of mind. EXCELLENT QUESTION! this then allowed me to share unconditionally myself as what i was applying as deleting all thought pattern behaviours as personalitys as standing up from within the mind. also an inportant thing that i went over with andrew is the realization of actual stopping as self giving self direction as self to stop the idea of stopping so that all can stop within and as himself taking on responseability for the world as himself. cool to share myself unconditionally with andrew as it revealed alot of my own self-honesty within how i have been applying myself to stop within my own acceptances and allowances and actually start living self honesty as self stopping self deception as self imposition as myself.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

writings of the self

ok on process and whats going on.
its been that consistancy as breathe is developing and its a something that i place here above all else you can say. almost i can say that it is sacred and so this is where i find myself. something that i have stopped is having attached believes towards and as impositions regarding people and myself. so pretty much i am here and i listen, i place words inside myself and i am and do realize when i am conjuring up the thoughtforms that i have for some time been busy creating as this mind consciousness system that i became. but yes so that has come to a stand still, meaning no more! consistancy is as i allow myself to be here and it has been that i am here not as a pattern of realities, mmm personalities but simply here. its been that each and every day consistancy is developed and it is the pause between each in and out breathe that this consistancy is formed. firstly what must be stopped is self judgement and to the recognition of self judgement. everything is here not seperate from self in a world apart from you or anything like this. so the key is to stop in the actual imposition as more of a forgiveness for what you have accepted and allowed.

Monday, August 17, 2009

writings of the self

if who i am does not altar in the proces of sharing insight with others regardless of their though process, i just dont see why i shouldnt stand up in this way. if i stand clear within myself and what i see its only common sence to do so. i dont see how i should conform to people and what they accept and allow because if i remain clear than that means that i am doing this for myself.
its only common sence to take everything that we consist of and bring it here where its common sence. well that is what i have been doing so far and it is just another way to talk about what is going on, to bring it here. i enjoy doing this with people. while by myself i remain here clear as the breathe and what i have talked about and what i have been able to see is that as the breathe i in a way pull myself out of my mind and i see it as a limitation, a beginning and an end of a thought pattern which i have believed, fueled and powered to exsist. and i have also thought about scenarios in where ill be as breathe after i had just percieved myself undergoing something and i think wtf? thats just fucked up.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

writings of the self

there are ways that i feel about people and i cant say that there is much peoples that i talk to because mostly i just talk to people that i know on aim and whatnot. well yeah so no there isnt much peoples that i open up to as i have been very to mySELF and for the longest time i have just been thinking and believing much stuff through my mind never actually writing it down and this has gotten me into quite the mess i would say. i say this because it only ever stays as the mind and no real progress ever emerges. i remember intending to talk about how i was feeling and what not, my views on whats going on with people but mostly what seemed to happen was that i would end up getting very frustrated. it would become that i would intend to impose my believes unto people and no this was not effective at all for myself that is. well i dont allow and accept that what i was going into that preprogramation now i would that it is a program because once stopped it is no longer here and i would say exression emerges as yourself.

resistance points that i have found within me are when talking with jocelyn. i feel as if shes too busy searching for something seperate from herself and i dont allow myself to make anything out of this but i also dont tell her how i feel in the moment which is something that we have agreed upon but speaking about it now i keep this to myself, to build up in a way. but i so much apprecate when i just let everything out and there is nothing left to hide, its a cool releasal that i enjoy. when i speak myself out it is directly what im experiancing in the moment as myself towards an individual in this case it would be jocelyn much because really jocelyn is the person that i talk too, alot. i always consider jocelyn as here no matter what, we are walking together and thats how i feel.

Friday, August 14, 2009

writings of the self

ok the following has been happening: when i put aside all "other" stuff which is basically everything and pull in and blow out as the breathe something interesting happens. i feel life as the moment, also in regards to when talking to other people almost as everything that has been perceptions or believes mind chatter, whatever it no longer feels as imposition towards life. well so continues life as the breathe, mmmmmmm slowly but surely i push through as life as me as breathe. i have been finding that as the breathe as i have been here talking myself out that if who i am talking to is not here that they are not quite understanding what it is that i am talking about. no anythings puffing out for this matter. i have been finding myself pushing through that which i have been i would say kind of ummm holding back on, supressing myself on and its cool i would say. no difference again im saying on who i am but as i realize this is what appreciation of life is really about, the stand up.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

writings of the self

i have been going through desteni videos over again as i enjoy listening to all at desteniproductions. im watching the videos with jocelyn and she seems very interested, especially in the history of the portal. its not really a big deal or anything like that were just watching them as i am sharing myself and videos that i have enjoyed watching with her. when talking to jocelyn its a process that both of us are going through since she is female and i am male and so far i have not accepted and allowed myself to not stand up whenever it is that i see what is happening as i place her as myself. well what has been going on so far with jocelyn and i is this. jocelyn sees the effectiveness of applying self honesty but she is not aware of self and what self is as to stand up for herself. it is cool that jocelyn is willing to apply self honesty but at the same time jocelyn has a relationship construct so that is something that together we will have to investigate for ourselvesas for jocelyn she believes very much feelings and emotions as something that she cannot consider for herself to let go. i have not been applying breathing in every moment as self as life and this is not something that i will continue to accept and allow. many ideas pass through my head about what jocelyn is going through and how i am involved in this as how she is not able to let go of her story. breathe walking, pull it in blow it out, breath walking.